Enough is Enough

When the women of NZ wrestling spoke out last year, the men responded in one of two ways:

1. Wow! I'm sorry this has happened to you.

2. Fuck this shit, I'm out of here.

OK, maybe there was a third way. That would be the rest who also pretend that they are sorry this all happened and keep talking that they want things to be better. They are the ones who then sit around complaining about how they've also been treated badly and say things like, "what about me?!" or are openly contributing to down-playing what the women fought so hard to finally come forth about. Do you have any idea how difficult it is for a woman to speak up?!

When I get asked what we could be doing to better help the women in NZ wrestling, my answer has been that we need to do the same thing we should be doing for EVERYONE involved: creating a safe space where people can come along and be themselves without judgement, bullying and harassment.

So, to those who ran and said, "fuck this shit"... you cannot keep running. Your voice is equally as important. I wish I could run and hide some days, too. But nothing ever improves if we continue to avoid the real issue. Please stop running. Please start helping.

Help me!

Help the NZ wrestling culture no longer be a replica of all other scenes. Help us instead be a guiding light to show the world that the professional wrestling environment, backstage and online, does not need to be filled with drama, bullying and harassment. It can be filled with compassion, consideration and care. It can be a place that uplifts each other and supports the wider community to do and be better.

To those who are also suffering and tired of this. I hear you. I feel you. Please join me in no longer contributing to the cycle. Please join me in doing better. Let's lead by example and start supporting a better place for all workers. Male, female and non-binary. Young and not-so-young. Big and small. We all have a place in this environment.

I don't know how I've stuck around this scene so long. I see other females who have since left and seem to be really enjoying their lives and it pains me because it's tempting to stop, too, but I don't want to stop wrestling. I love it. I am done with this environment, though. I am done with being treated so poorly.

There are those in the group who said, "wow, sorry this has happened to you". It's a small group and those guys are important. They are trying. I know they are. I have regular conversations with them and am trying to help them where I can. I know they want to do well and do better but they do not control the actions of all.

This is where you all come in. If you're reading this and you're thinking, "am I one of those workers contributing to the bullying and harassment?" then the answer is likely yes. If you have to question it, then you're not actively stopping it. Please do better.

If you're a fan of NZ wrestling and are wanting to support the scene to genuinely do better. Your voice matters. Better yet, your money speaks volumes. Where you invest your time and energy feeds the growth of the companies you spend it at. Naturally, in supporting known bullies, you therefore encourage them to continue their actions of belittling others and bringing down people that don't fit their circle or their vision of NZ wrestling.

I know it must be hard to be a fan in this day and age. Watching the news and some of the articles following WWE releases and how people respond about their feelings about the scene, it's a wonder we still support professional wrestling some days.

However, I have a vision of a better future. A future where fans can come to a show without worrying about whether the workers are being treated well. Where they can show up and just enjoy the show as it is. Where the workers can have a great time, put on great matches and celebrate the success as a collective.

In this future, all feel welcome. All are helping and supporting each other. Bullying doesn't exist because it's not accepted. Harassment isn't a thing because people respect each other's boundaries and ask before making advances. A future where I don't have to beg to be on a card because there can only be one space for women so that the men don't get upset.

A future where men and women alike respect and admire each other's performances for what they are, not based on their physical appearance but based on their wrestling ability and hard work.

I really hope this future is a possibility. I know I'm a dreamer but if you are with me on this. If this is what you envision as the future of New Zealand wrestling, too, then please join me in sharing and liking this post. Let our voices be heard. Let the promotions know, enough is enough.

As always, if you are not feeling safe in any environment or need to talk, please reach out. Male or Female. I am always down for a coffee with a friend, especially a friend in need. Let's make this world a better place.